It's been a long time since I last posted. Mostly I've just not had the time to sit down and write something in depth. I haven't even taken the time to reflect on anything of true importance. I let final exams, desire for stuff, and my eagerness for summer consume me. Then I read a blog about contentment by my youth pastor, and it really made me think about priorities.

So I sat down and thought about it really hard and came up with the following. I'm pretty sure I've written something like this before, but maybe there's something more to it this time, and maybe someone can take something useful away from it.

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Conquering Worry Weeds

Firstly, I'm pretty sure I can safely say that every one of us has an insatiable desire for more. What we have is simply not good enough. We want the newest! We want the best! We want the most entertaining!

Some of this desire I believe stems from our culture. The United States is so prosperous that few of us have really known need. Frequently we confuse need with want. We become so worried over cars and houses and the latest in technology (iPods, computers, video games, televisions) that we forget to count our blessings. What do we have? Houses. Families. Cars that, at least for now, can get us to work and back. Doctors, dentists, garbage men. Education. Food, clothing, shelter, a church family, the love of God, salvation... The list goes on.

Really when one takes the time to sit down and review his or her possessions, it is easy to become overwhelmed by how much we have. Walk around the house and look at clutter or piles of stuff or boxes of old things. Notice how much we have but don't use, don't even notice or look at. Notice all of the old things that were once new and wanted, finally achieved, and promptly forgotten. They even become nuisances: "I have so much junk to get rid of," "I really need to have a yard sale," "My house is so cluttered." Who are we to have accumulated mountains and mountains of things that we don't even want anymore?

Granted, I can understand wanting a finished house and a car that works better. Those are not out of line--a house is shelter and a car is transportation. To deal with the practical worries of life, when we find ourselves thinking "I really need this...what if it breaks...what if I can't make that payment...what if..." we need to sit down and pray to God to help us trust him more. Sometimes that's all one can do--admit, "I have a problem, I want things, I need things, I worry. God, please take this away from me. Help me to be fulfilled through you, not through this world. Help me to desire your love over worldly comforts, which do not last."

As David Nasser says, "If Christ is our treasure, no one can steal him, no one can damage him, no one can take our satisfaction away."

As the Bible says (this is a long passage but important), " 'Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feels them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ...
'So do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.' " (Matthew 6:25-27, 31-34, NIV).

Yet, even when we understand this, it is still difficult to trust God. It is difficult to hand over everything to God. I sometimes have a divided mentality. One moment I can be thinking, "Yes, God is good, he has given me everything I need. I am blessed," and then turn around and say, "My computer is starting to get slow. I need a new one. Our house is too small. I need more space. We don't have enough money. We can't afford to go on vacation this summer. We need..."

That is when this verse becomes most important: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7 NIV).

Only through prayer can we hope to overcome anxiety. Only by giving our worries to God can we move without the weight of them.

Finally (wow, this has been longer than I thought it would be!), some worries just need to be weeded out entirely. That's what they are--weeds, sewn by this world. Worry weeds are anything that is not needed for survival, or even well-being. That new set of golf clubs. That shiny convertible on the dealer's lot. That brand new computer. That million-dollar home on the lake, or even that 200,000 dollar home in the nice subdivision. Our ADD culture screams for entertainment and success. I believe our desire for entertainment accounts for more than half of our worries.

When we begin to worry, we should analyze our thoughts instead of letting them continue. Ask: do I really need this? If the answer is no, then ask God to help you desire him instead of something that does not last. If the answer is yes, then ask God to help you through hard times, and place your trust in him that he will take care of you. 

Conquering worry ourselves is impossible.

The only way is to seek God's wisdom, know his truth, and live our lives for him instead of ourselves.

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A Final Note

Lately my family has had a lot to worry about. Two of my cousins are in the hospital, and my dad has had disabling pain in his shoulder and neck. All three of these people are having to see neurosurgeons. It seems odd that three people in my family would come down with problems dealing with the brain. The first is some kind of clot, the second is epilepsy, and the third I just mentioned.

It can be really difficult to trust God at times like these, yet I don't know how I would survive if I didn't. They are serious issues, but my anxiety cannot possibly resolve them.

How much better it is to pray than to worry! How much better it is to tell God our problems instead of running them through our minds again and again!

I can't stress enough the importance of prayer. It is our link to the Creator. We must listen.

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Concluding Verses: Be Still

Some helpful verses suggested by http://www.topical-bible-studies.org/05-0020.htm .

Moses answered the people, "Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the Lord will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The Lord will fight for you; you need only be still."
(Exodus 14:13, NIV)

"Then the Spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattaniah, a Levite and descendent of Asaph, as he stood in the assembly.
"He said: 'Listen, King Jehoshaphat and all who live in Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says to you: "Do not be afraid or discouraged because of this vast army. For the battle is not yours, but God's. Tomorrow march down against them. They will be climbing up by the Pass of Ziz, and you will find them at the end of the gorge in the Desert of Jeruel. You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the Lord will be with you." ' "
(2 Chronicles 20:14-17, NIV)

Know that the Lord has set apart the godly for himself;
the Lord will hear when I call to him. In your anger do not sin; when you are on your beds, search your hearts and be silent. Offer right sacrifices and trust in the Lord.
(Psalm 4:3-5, NIV)

" 'Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.' The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah."
(Psalm 46:10-11)

Blinding Ourselves to Assumption and Opening Our Eyes to Biblical Truth

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A famous artist, Claude Monet, whose name should be familiar to most of you, once said that he wished he had been born blind but later granted the ability to see. His explanation for this desire was that he wanted to paint things as they were, not as his mind remembered them, but he simply knew too much about them. If a tree was in the distance, although his human eyes could not make out the minute details, his brain would supplement them with knowledge: leaves have veins; trunks have bark. Thus he would paint the veins and bark even though, realistically, such details could not be observed from that distance.

Lately I've begun to feel that way about my Biblical knowledge. I'm not sure if I want to start over or what--actually, ix-nay that--I will start over. I'm tired of making general assumptions about certain subjects without truly understanding the reality of them. Essentially, I need to become blind to what I think I know and start listening to what God is telling me.

Tonight at Bible study, Matt spoke about the Trinity. Upon first glancing at the scripture, John 5:16-30, I believed our subject to be fairly simple. After all, I've read this passage many times. I understand what the Trinity is (at least I thought I did)--Father, Son, Holy Spirit. That's all there was to it, or so I thought. But as our discussion became more deeply and involved in the subject of the holy Trinity, I gradually realized that God is, in fact, not someone I can put in a little box or study through a microscope. I can't keep him in my pocket. I can't downsize him to fit my needs. I can't commit to the "mediocre" version of faith as opposed to the "extreme" or "radical" version--there's no such thing as levels of faith. God is so BIG, MIGHTY, and AWESOME (not even the caps lock can adequately convey my point) that no matter how hard I try, I will never in my earthly lifetime be able to understand him.

Please don't misunderstand me and think I am saying that I should give up on difficult subjects altogether. No, my point is rather that possibly one of the greatest insults to God must be to make him "pocket-sized."

No wonder people have seemingly lost interest in Christianity! So many of us Christians are representing not the One, True God--so huge that we can't fully understand him, so amazing that words can't even describe how wondrous he is--but a down-sized, buffet-style, name-brand version that isn't true faith at all but instead a disgrace. What happened to our awe? What happened to our wonder? What happened to our respect from the Lord of everything that is, has ever been, and is yet to come?

I think I know the answer to these questions: for far too long we have been taught about the Bible in the same old ways. Not to say that anyone is going about it the wrong way, or that there is a wrong way...but instead of sitting open mouthed and glassy eyed, taking what people tell us about the Bible as absolute truth, we need to invest ourselves in scripture. We need to soak it up like a sponge! Come on, guys, do I have to say something cheesy like "meditate on the word"? The funny thing is--that phrase is so true: we need to do just that. But we've heard it so often that we think nothing of it.

We take so many things for granted! As I learned from Matt's message tonight, the knowledge I thought I had is actually little more than petty assumption. There is no way I can fully understand God. He is mind-blowing; too huge for me to comprehend. But from now on, I want to learn directly from the Bible, which is inerrant. If I didn't truly understand the meaning of the Trinity, the core of Christian faith, then how many more things have I misunderstood?

The Bible isn't full of empty words. The Bible is Gospel--"good news"--Truth. Salvation and eternal life are too big for me to miss out on because I tried to fit God in my pocket...

We need to become blind to our assumed knowledge and open our eyes to Truth. The only way to know Truth is to know God, and the only way to know God is through Biblical scripture and our Savior.

Five Ways to an A

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Mood: Optimistic ;) 

So I have a Medieval Studies test tomorrow. I've been studying for hours and hours, and here is the result:

DAGAN'S MEDIEVAL STUDIES TEST

Name: Why do you want to know? Identity thief!

Date: I wish. I haven't been on one of those...ever.

Question 1) Bohemond of Taranto
A: God bless you.

2) Crucesignati
A: God bless you in Italian. (eye-TALLY-yen)

3) Alexius
A: THAT SONNUVA DIRTY, NO-GOOD, STINKIN' ROTTEN WEASEL!!!

4) Pass or fail
A: Pass...the cheese, please. :D

5) Who's your daddy?
A: The God of the Universe, the creator of everything!

Whimsy

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Thanks to YouTube I can now show you my cat in person!

Here is the wubulous Whimsy. >^.^<

Hollywood's False Concept of Christianity Equating Weakness

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Well, all day Sunday I was sick with a bad virus. I knew I was getting sick Saturday night, but I didn't want to miss church for several reasons, namely that my sister was playing flute during the service, and my parents weren't able to be there so I would be the only family member watching her. Sunday morning I still felt bad but got ready anyway, thinking that maybe I could go anyway. Turns out that I having that special taste that lets you know you're going to throw up soon... >.< I finally decided not to go because although it would be nice for me to listen to my sister play flute, it definitely would not be nice to vomit during the service...

So I betook myself downstairs, sat in the orange recliner chair, and started watching TCM (Turner Classic Movies), which I ended up doing all day, because I only got sicker... (more sick?)

I love old movies, hence the reason I chose to watch TCM. For one thing it has no commercials. For another...well those "classic" movies are just so much better in content and plot than our movies nowadays. So called "special effects" and "art graphics" range anywhere from creative lighting techniques (T-men) to drawn in landscapes (Gone With the Wind). And you've gotta love the Duke (John Wayne!). I believe I saw three or four of his movies. He's one of my favorite old actors.

But the movie I really want to talk about is Gone With the Wind, a movie I have never intended to watch but ended up doing so anyway, being sick and not wanting to watch soap operas or reality shows.

I'm pretty sure most people must know what it's about, but I'll find a summary for those who don't. This is a plot summary from imdb.com:

Scarlett is a woman who can deal with a nation at war, Atlanta burning, the Union Army carrying off everything from her beloved Tara, the carpetbaggers who arrive after the war. Scarlett is beautiful. She has vitality. But Ashley, the man she has wanted for so long, is going to marry his placid cousin, Melanie. Mammy warns Scarlett to behave herself at the party at Twelve Oaks. There is a new man there that day, the day the Civil War begins. Rhett Butler. Scarlett does not know he is in the room when she pleads with Ashley to choose her instead of Melanie.

Imdb.com wrote a nice little handful of facts in the above paragraph, but they really missed the point. Oh, what they told you is just the beginning of the movie--later Scarlett goes on to marry two men she doesn't love, the first in an attempt to make Ashley jealous, and the second for money, who both die in accidents. She eventually marries Rhett Butler. A bunch of stuff happens, people die, yada yada yada. But, ladies and gents, allow me to give you a real plot summary that one need watch no more than five minutes of the movie to gather:

Scarlett O'Hara is a selfish fool, who places her own satisfaction in life above the welfare of others and uses her beauty and vitality to cheat her way into money.

That's all there is to it. Scarlett is a very static character, remaining selfish throughout the duration of the movie. The only change in her is the realization toward the end of the movie that she actually does love her husband Rhett (only realized after she discovers that Ashley does not indeed love her), but by that time Rhett is understandably fed up with the woman.

Here is their last verbal exchange (pardon the language): "I love you, Rhett! What will I do without you?" and his stunning line, which Scarlett would have done well to hear years earlier, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Exit Rhett. I have news for Scarlett. We don't either. After watching her spend her whole life striving to fulfill her desires and showing no love to anyone else, we understand that the southern lass has missed the boat and is drowning at sea.

About midway through the movie, Ashley Wilkes says this to Scarlett: "There is something you love more than even me, though you are not aware of it." He stoops and picks up a handful of red Georgia dirt and places it in her hand. "Tara. The land. You gain your strength from it..." Tara is her home in Georgia.

I dislike this line and the repetition of it toward the end of the movie. The author, Ashley, and the director all got it wrong. Scarlett O'Hara doesn't care about the land. Scarlett O'Hara doesn't care about Ashley, or Rhett, or anyone else. Scarlett O'Hara cares about Scarlett O'Hara, and no one else. She is motivated by her own wants and desires.

One of the secondary characters, Ashley's wife, Melanie, is the best character in the movie. She is a sweet, kind, beautiful (physically and spiritually) woman who consistently puts others before herself. She thinks the world of Scarlett and never says an unkind thing to her, even when she suspects Scarlett has been having an affair with Ashley. Melanie is the epitome of goodness. She is the epitome of a good Christian--except for one thing. Melanie's "weakness" is constantly referenced in the movie. Whereas independent, selfish Scarlett is revered as strong and spirited, Melanie is portrayed as a woman too kind for her own good. She dies as a result of her weakness, and after her death both Scarlett and Ashley discuss it.

I don't understand. This is not the first time I have noticed this concept of weakness and goodness being one and the same. In Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte, a young girl named Helen is similar to Melanie. Good, beautiful, kind, Christian...she also dies as a result of weakness. Melanie is ten times the woman Scarlett is, yet both Helen and Melanie have WEAK stamped in big red letters on their foreheads. Scarlett's "strength" is no strength at all. Fiercely independent, she is lonely and loveless throughout the entire movie.

Why is the selfish character glorified? Why is the "good Christian" weak?

The strong man or woman is one who can lay down his or her life for Christ and follow the will of God. The weak man gives into his own desires and is doomed to eternal suffering. Yet the world wants to send us a message that only those who look out for themselves will survive. The world admires Scarlett O'Hara, for all her selfishness, perhaps because of her selfishness. As a Christian, this concept of strength equating independence really bothers me. Hollywood has everything completely backwards--this really is how the message should go: Through God we have strength. Through our own power we have nothing.

Don't be taken in by these movies and their popularity. Watch what you watch--that is, realize that even a classic, popular movie can convey bad messages. Allowing a pagan society to spoon feed us false ideas of right and wrong, strength and weakness, and good vs. evil always leads us down a spiraling road toward faithlessness. We have to be careful not to unconsciously accept everything we watch. Don't just say, "Oh, that was a good movie." Analyze it! What message did the movie convey? What characters were glorified? Who were you supposed to admire?